That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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