he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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