You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
