I got chris browned last night
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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