You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
