I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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