People with herpes should wear stickers.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Randomize
