drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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