Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
