so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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