Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
