with your own penis?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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