walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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