Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize