Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
