I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
