it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
