I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
