take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
no, he came in my armpit
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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