it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
