I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
