I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
