don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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