And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
