My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
