you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
