She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize