You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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