Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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