we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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