dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We smell like vodka and hangover
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