Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
