I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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