he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
