Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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