Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
