Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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