Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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