Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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