So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
