i permit you to call me
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Randomize
