So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
