Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
