I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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