i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just threw up on my dentist
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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