home. puking in laundry basket.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
