Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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