"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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