i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
