i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
