dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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