Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
