This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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