I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
