ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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