all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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