I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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