Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
