problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
