so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
