is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
