im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize