you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
